Wearing a mask is another way of not being a self. It is when man does not want to know what was in his mind or what feelings he truly had. With this, he presented to other people a false self. Such concealment of the true self deprives him of a chance to have awareness of selfhood.
Getting into a false face is real for me. In fact, it usually happens. Whenever I go, wherever I am and whatever I do, self-deception is always there. From childhood to adolescence, I have been undergoing a lot of adjustments. In the pattern of adjustment, the internal motivation that includes my attitudes must comply with the external demand of reality. Therefore, I have to act in accordance with the rules given by the society. Honestly speaking, it is really hard for me. This is beacuse I am not only consists of good aspects. There are some more negative aspects in me that others might consider it as unacceptable. This caused me to confusion. Knowing I would hurt him, my friends and our families if I'll tell him the truth about what I really feel so I end up pretending to be happy with him. Thus, I am smiling at grief. Actually, it is not me. I am presenting a feeling that was not felt by me. I covered the dark blots with a brightly colored curtain. I am afraid that I might suffer the consequences if I will fight what I feel. This risk that treathens my integrity will always be present. There are also moments that I try to convince myself that what I am is exactly what I like. I occasionally place an idealistic image right in front of me. I deny the reality of what I feel within myself. Sometimes, I even shove it deep into the dark closet of unconscious. I want to follow the idealistic image because of my purpose to drive out my unpleasant memories and experiences.
Indeed, there are times that I am wearing a mask whether I may be aware of it or not.
Getting into a false face is real for me. In fact, it usually happens. Whenever I go, wherever I am and whatever I do, self-deception is always there. From childhood to adolescence, I have been undergoing a lot of adjustments. In the pattern of adjustment, the internal motivation that includes my attitudes must comply with the external demand of reality. Therefore, I have to act in accordance with the rules given by the society. Honestly speaking, it is really hard for me. This is beacuse I am not only consists of good aspects. There are some more negative aspects in me that others might consider it as unacceptable. This caused me to confusion. Knowing I would hurt him, my friends and our families if I'll tell him the truth about what I really feel so I end up pretending to be happy with him. Thus, I am smiling at grief. Actually, it is not me. I am presenting a feeling that was not felt by me. I covered the dark blots with a brightly colored curtain. I am afraid that I might suffer the consequences if I will fight what I feel. This risk that treathens my integrity will always be present. There are also moments that I try to convince myself that what I am is exactly what I like. I occasionally place an idealistic image right in front of me. I deny the reality of what I feel within myself. Sometimes, I even shove it deep into the dark closet of unconscious. I want to follow the idealistic image because of my purpose to drive out my unpleasant memories and experiences.
Indeed, there are times that I am wearing a mask whether I may be aware of it or not.
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